Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter

I have been deeply affected by the Biggest Loser (Australia).... I have never watched it before but I am addicted to this series and there is something one of the trainers said a while ago that I have been mulling over in my mind.

I have already blogged about needing to feel some discomfort...that to get results it has to get tough....yada yada yada I accept that...no I well and truly grab that one by the big, fat horns....

What has affected me this week is the need to let go of needing other people's affirmations and approval. You have to stop caring what other people think. The red poppy-eye woman trainer...Michelle? was saying that to one of the over 30's women.

To quote somebody obviously more gifted with words than me...as my title says: "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"

Sometimes I feel so self conscious I may as well be a painfully shy teenager again. I have days where I go over and over and over a throw away comment that someone has made, analysing "what they really meant by that". I sit here and wonder why I only have 3 followers on my blog....FOLLOW ME why don't you?....(please?? and don't hate me for shouting....)

Whenever I have attempted to lose weight in the past, I have had in my mind and as my goal, what other people will think of me when I have done it...

Age 13: "If I lose five pounds then Sally and Catherine will want to be my friend" (beeotches)

Age 16: "If I lose half a stone then Nicholas will ask me out" (ooohhh Nick, you heartbreaker)

Age 19: "If I lose ten pounds then I will be able to wear a size 12 dress to the summer ball and snog loads of blokes" (turns out drunk students aren't that fussy anyway...ew).

Age 22: "If I lose a stone I will actually look like I belong on this course (Yes I have a Masters' degree in exercise and health science but that is a whole nother blog's worth of embarrassment to be covered in the future)

Age 26: "If I lose twenty pounds I will be a beautiful bride and everyone will turn and gasp at my gorgeousness as I walk down the aisle" (there were a few gasps...possibly because my boob fell out of my strapless dress....actually it didn't but that would have been funny)

And so it goes on....UNTIL NOW...I am coming round to the thinking that it actually doesn't matter what other people think. I am my harshest critic and even I need to be kinder to myself. I am trying not to worry so much about the perceptions of others. I am not there yet but am certainly better than I was. So right now this is what I am thinking:

Age 36: "If I lose two stone I will feel fit, healthy and be able to do ballet properly because my legs will not be too fat."

Any other compliments, affirmations, approvals will be welcome but not necessary.